LOVE AND COMPASSION

Good Friday.  This day arrives once a year, and on this day a mountain of memories falls down on me.  As a little girl, growing up in an ultra-Catholic family, Good Friday was a dread to me.  You see, I'm now decades older and have the right to share my opinion just like those who pounded theirs into my baby brain.  Don't get me wrong, goodness and kindness are my co-religions, and I think Jesus felt the same way.

Remember how little kids keep asking WHY?  That's what my baby brain wondered when we went to church on GOOD Friday to pay homage to a day when they did HORRIBLE things to Jesus?  Just didn't make sense, and I had no choice but to go along with the rituals.  

Another trauma for my baby brain was listening to the reading of the Passion of Christ.  In later years, members of the church participated in the reading.  I remember getting so antsy I just wanted to run away.  But, I had no choice but to pretend.  

Stones may be thrown at me for the next thing I'm about to share, but even as a little girl I didn't want to put my lips on the feet of Jesus.  Why?  Because even as a little girl I knew that some people in church were coughing, and this was the perfect opportunity to pass along any germs that needed a new home.  In my later years, I did refuse and simply laid my hand on his feet.  What could they do to me?  

Then there was the fasting business.  It wasn't like we were rich and ate lobster and steak......luxuries that we might forego for the sake of a form of penance.  We couldn't eat meat, but could eat fish.  That was another thing I pondered.  Why was I allowed to eat what I loved most and forbidden to eat what I liked least?  You see, my family went fishing, and fresh fried fish were my lobster.

There's a glaring difference between man-made organized religion and true inner spirituality.  The glory of living in a freedom-based country is our ability to choose between religion and spirituality.  You see, I am what I am because of my intense one-year biblical study, researching and reading eleven theological books, and the ultimate trip to Rome Italy to see for myself what religion is all about.  Pope Paul II even held my hand in one of the upper rooms of the Vatican complex.  Yup, I did it all, and then chose spirituality.  

The world needs organized religion.  Absolutely.  We see right now what happens when it's eliminated.  But, there are other religions.  Oh, I've studied them till my brain hurts.  

The saddest thing for me is this business of dying.  If it wasn't for the priests and nuns pounding it into my head that if I die with a sin on my soul, I would burn in the fires of hell forever and ever and ever.  How's that for cruel brainwashing of a child?  I didn't buy the business of babies who died before being baptized going to limbo and never being able to see God.  Somewhere along the last fifty years, limbo has magically disappeared.  When's the last time we heard about limbo?

Some may say I'm a terrible person for writing this on Good Friday.  To me, it's Bad Friday, because Jesus was tortured on this day.  Some say it's a GOOD thing he died for us, but how can torture ever be seen as good?  

What is spirituality?  It's defined as the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.  It is recognizing that there is something greater than myself, and that we are all a part of Divine Nature.  The two main ingredients are love and compassion.  In my mind, Jesus represents love and compassion.

The spiritual tendency is to be kind to others and not to criticize others, in the hopes of making the world a better place.  Do I pray?  Absolutely.  Prayer is the only path between us and the Divine.  Mom's words live eternally in my mind......"Honey, if you fall asleep before you finish your night prayers, always remember the angels will finish them for you."    Those words made all the sense in the world to me, and to this day I believe what Mom said to me as a little girl.

For me, spending time in Nature, outdoors, is where my soul breathes most freely.  No one is judging the clothes I'm wearing, nor criticizing me for not responding to letters in the mail asking me to do something to make money.  Nature is an open cathedral, a communion with the wonders of the pretty wildflowers and small animals who are only trying to make their way in the world like the rest of us.

Spirituality has been compared to a deep well, upon which we draw in times of crisis, unrest or personal challenge.  Spirituality reinforces inner peace and provides a sense of connection to a force greater than ourselves.  Spirituality can relieve the stressors of everyday life.  I see it for myself, how some of the most religious people are not happy, but constantly complaining.  They don't seem to have found the true meaning and purpose of being given life.  Spirituality is an awakening, where it's okay to let one's curiosities run free, to explore, to find what makes personal sense.  To me, that's the only way I have found to quiet and conquer the daily anxieties we all suffer with.  No matter how hard I tried, I wasn't able to get all dressed up and go to church, and that comfort would be there waiting for me.  Actually, being in church upset me.  I saw too much hypocrisy, too much show.  

Each and every one of us is born with a gift wrapped up inside of us.  Our only job while we're alive is to unwrap that gift and use it for the betterment of the human condition.  If we can honestly say that we've done that, then we have done our part.  No one else can judge us or make us feel inferior to their uninvited expectations.  

For years, I wrote in my journal notebooks.  That is one way that I found my spiritual self.  Maybe that's why it's so easy for me to share openly here.  It's a testament to my understanding of life and how I navigate my way through each day.  

I'm sitting here in my comfort corner looking at my beloved olive tree.  Since re-potting it, it's gotten new shoots.  That tells me it's healthy and happy.  What more can any of us earthlings want for ourselves?  Random acts of kindness are the perfect way to practice what is at the core of Jesus' teachings......Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.  It's that simple.  It doesn't take a diploma from an institution of higher learning to teach us this.

........Buffy went back to his parents' house yesterday afternoon.  She was such a good little girl during her sleepover.  This afternoon we're going shopping for groceries.  Will go out for lunch before.  The boyfriend wants to drive to a tiny town tavern for a burger, and that sounds like a plan for me.  It's time for us to be together, to share the goodness and the mercy given to us.  We'll talk, we'll laugh, and we'll be serious.  We'll be alone.  We'll probably take some pictures along the way.  It's what we do.  Life is an ever-moving stream of opportunity to taste and savor life.  It's a spiritual journey.