The past two days have been a whole lot of fun for me. COVID and its year of isolation changed me. When the restrictions were lifted, my inner self stayed isolated. Up until yesterday.
We helped with a pasture sale. My job was taking in the $$ and packing the purchases in plastic WM sacks. AND, visiting with the strangers who were handing me the cash. To me, this felt as if someone had taken a key and unlocked my inner self and set it free once again. I laughed and chatted more the last two days than in the last two years.
Interestingly, tho, after waking this morning, my inner self once more prefers isolation. Yup, Covid taught me how to be comfortable within.
The year's Covid isolation taught me things about myself I hadn't really thought about before. My stress and anxiety levels have dropped significantly, mainly because I'm not in the mainstream of human behaviors. I don't have to interact with aggressive and not-so-nice personalities. And, I absolutely prefer to stay outside the walls of the rumor mill, where rumors are ground into bits of unsubstantiated and hurtful yackery.
My personal preference is creating a safe space around me, being a silent observer, journaling my thoughts to know myself better, learning something new every day, reading thick books, working online word games and crosswords, and undertaking projects. My schedule is my own. I don't have to do what a committee expects me to do, and I'm a bona fide secret keeper.
One can be more introverted and still be quite social. It's more about building trust in others rather than simply being friendly and agreeing with them just so they'll like me. I need to observe and know someone before opening my soul and sharing my personal perspectives with them. Oh, I know that sounds ridiculous when every day I sit here and give my thoughts to the world with my blog posts. For me, that's my comfort zone. I wouldn't and couldn't do that in a one-on-one and face-to-face conversation. It sounds crazy, but my social life is now online. That's why the last two days were a complete 180 degrees for me.
Crowds of people are not for me. Multiple lanes of heavy traffic frighten me. Years of life taught me to undo the concept of trusting others. I explicitly remember the nuns instructing us to Trust Everyone. Today we can Trust No one. Man, that was, and is, a tough moral concept to let go of, because I want to trust others.
Probably the best part of being an introvert is this business of not getting into trouble. Honestly, it doesn't matter what I do, where I go, who I'm with.....chances are high that I'll say or do something that will end up causing me anxiety. When I'm by myself, that's one thing I don't have to worry about. Little things bring me comfort. I'm easy maintenance. What you see is what you get. My feet do not like wearing shoes. My hair style is pixie short and simple. My clothes are stretchy.
It was Carl Jung in the 1920s who coined the terms introvert and extrovert. He explained how introverts replenish their energy levels when they're in quiet environments. Extroverts, on the other hand, replenish their energy levels when they socialize with others.
I don't want to give the impression that I'm a hermit or that I'm shy. I'm comfortable with small intimate groups, I laugh and joke and tease and have been known to be downright silly. All of that shuts down in large and noisy crowds. Noise is something else that makes my brain scream. Far removed from the days of listening to The Monster Mash on a radio turned up full blast. Yup, now I'm a well-seasoned girl who is more than okay staying at home, where I can walk in the forest of peace and quiet.
Extroverts sparkle,
Introverts glow.
Extroverts are fireworks.
Introverts are a fire in the hearth.