BE A SUNFLOWER

This gorgeous bit of Nature is growing in the boyfriend's garden plot.   His two favorite flowers are the Daffies in spring and Sunnies in the summer.  Both are yellow and announce a new season.  Young Sunnies grow up having the ability to follow the sun's path across the sky.  This is called heliotropism.  Yup, they instinctively know to start their day facing east to greet the rising sun and throughout the day follow its movement westward.  Then overnight they reorient themselves eastward to get ready for the next sunrise.

We just learned (a few blogs ago) about circadian rhythm, or Nature's internal clock.  It's that innate rhythm that helps regulate the sunflower's growth.  The main reason it tracks the sun is so its leaves can maximize their absorption of sunlight.  This process converts sunlight into the energy to grow.  

When the Sunnies mature, their stems stiffen, and they stop tracking the sun and face east.  This allows them to warm up more quickly in the morning, attracting more pollinators, like the bees.  Research has found that east-facing Sunnies can attract up to five times more pollinators than west-facing flowers, resulting in greater reproduction.

When we pay attention to life's little things, it's in those places we find the phenomena that Our Creator sewed into the fabric of the Universe.  I love to use the things of Nature as life metaphors.  The Sunnies represent optimism and the pursuit of light and happiness.  They're known to grow tall and strong.  They represent resilience.  For us humans, resilience isn't only about enduring hardships, but it's also about bouncing back from them.

Those of us who are well-seasoned understand what it's like to endure tragedies and heartache.  We also understand that it's a lot easier to talk about bouncing back than it is to work oneself through adverse challenges.  It boils down to the business of hanging on tight, putting one foot in front of the other, and taking one breath after another.  At those times, we understand the universal law of relativity.  One 60-second minute can feel as long as a 24-hour day.  

Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg identified 7 C's of Resilience..... 

Competence:  Handling the situation effectively.

Confidence:  Believing in one's abilities.

Coping:  Developing strategies to deal with challenges.

Control:  Knowing we do have a little control over our life and that our decisions and actions will play a part in the eventual outcome.

Character:  Having a strong set of moral values and maintaining a caring attitude toward others.

Connection:  Knowing we are not alone during our times of struggle and heartache.

Contribution:  Understanding just how important our personal contribution is to the larger world, which, in turn, helps us have a sense of purpose and motivation.

When we use our positive coping skills ourselves, we model resilience for the younger generations.  Every baby that is born into the world will need to learn and grow how to show their best self when facing difficult times.  No one gets out of life without pain and suffering.  Just like the Sunnies, we have to develop strong and resilient stems, trying as hard as we can to keep facing the sun.  Our hearts and our souls require the Sun's warmth and energy to keep putting that one foot in front of the other, and keep on inhaling and exhaling. 

We are living in a time of Blame.  We have to remember that the person(s) we blame are experiencing every human emotion that we do.  Pointing the negative finger at someone else has its own consequences.....

• Blaming prevents taking responsibility for one's own actions.  
• Blaming prevents individuals from learning from their own mistakes and/or developing emotional resilience.
• Instead of focusing on resolving an issue, the blamer remains stuck in a cycle of negativity and anger.
• Blamers give away their power to change and take control of their own life.
• Blamers choose to play the role of the victim.....thus, not taking responsibility for themselves.
• Constant blaming is linked to anxiety, depression and addictions.   Those who blame tend to dwell on negative aspects, amplifying their unhappiness. 

No one wants to be blamed for anything that isn't their doing.  The Blame Game might offer a temporary relief, but its impact is detrimental.  Blaming someone else won't solve any problem.  More than likely, blamers harbor their own insecurities and unresolved issues.  Unresolved trauma often fuels blame.  The old saying, "Blame is a chicken's way out," implies that blaming is the coward's way.  That may sound harsh, but, I'm from the old school of thought that hails the fact that each one of us is personally responsibile for himself/herself.  My daddy once told me, "You make your nest and you're gonna sleep in it."  

So, like the Sunflower, I learned to face the sun.  I knew I had to learn to be strong and buck up when things went haywire.  I learned early on that it's not nice to point one's finger at someone else.  When we blame or accuse someone, we have to remember that we most likely have contributed to the situation.  Blaming is a way to avoid taking responsibility for ourselves.